It’s a lot harder to do things, to accomplish tasks, to fulfill daily routines, when you hurt.
That’s not a profound statement. But it’s one I’ve come to know as true over the last couple of years.
It’s nearing six weeks since my surgery. I wasn’t supposed to lift anything over ten pounds for six weeks. For the most part, it hasn’t been that difficult to stay within this recovery guideline. I didn’t feel like lifting much or even capable of it. I can tell each week I’ve grown stronger and my body is healing from the surgery. Each week I do feel more able and I’ve done some things I wouldn’t have the week before.
I’ve had friends and family text me or ask me how I’m feeling. It’s really been a little hard for me to answer. I definitely feel better. I definitely feel different. But I still have pain and pressure in my feet and leg and I think it’s going to be there for a bit and will be a slow process. I’ve heard from several sources that nerves take a long time to heal. I remember my incision from my c-sections and I know it was something I noticed for a long time.
Here’s the deal, too. I don’t think a lot of people really know that I haven’t felt good for a long time and that pain is just part of my life.
Because the thing is, I really didn’t realize it myself. It sounds corny. But it’s true. Somehow you adapt and you deal. You live with it and often, you don’t even realize HOW you felt until you start to get better or you get through it. I hear about rough times and sad situations and I ache for the people in them and I think to myself, “I can’t imagine how hard it is to walk through that difficulty.” In the one sense, I’m right. I can’t imagine. In another sense, when trials and heartache come, and they always will, you simply walk through them. There’s no other choice. As a Christian, you walk through it with Christ. Christ is comfort. Christ comes,even when we feel alone or forgotten or we cry out “Why?” Christ is in our circumstances.
Since my surgery, I have felt different. Do I feel exactly like I’d like to? Is all the pain gone? No and no. But it’s different and I’m working towards better. I’m so thankful.
And I’ve realized over the last few weeks, simply how long it’s been since I moved around easily and did things effortlessly and without thinking about how I was moving or bending and without gritting my teeth or having an awareness of, “Is this going to hurt?”
It makes me that much more compassionate towards people in pain. We have an older neighbor who has been dealing with pain for quite a long time. Nothing much that has been tried has seemed to help him. He comes to my mind and I whisper a prayer. I would have cared three or four years ago, but I relate to it in a whole different way today.
I have a really good friend who is dealing with pain and health questions and not finding any answers or fixes, yet. I’m hoping and praying she soon will. I relate to it. It’s not a fun place to be. My sister-in-law and I were talking about my friend’s neck and arm pain. My sister-in-law declared she’s afraid it is contagious! It has almost seemed that way. My mother-in-law. My brother. My father-in-law. Me. My friend. And we all live fairly close together. Oh dear! 🙂
It’s hard to live without hope. I’m hoping to keep healing. I have hopes as to what I will feel like in six months. High hopes. I discovered something else recently. If in six months, my hopes don’t come to pass, it will be ok. It may not be without tears and frustration and disappointment, but it will be ok.
God is faithful. He just is. That’s the bottom line. He can see the whole picture. I can’t.
Our bodies are amazing things. The way they work. When we’re healthy we don’t even think about it. We breathe automatically. Our heart pumps our blood. Our muscles move. It all works without us thinking about it or telling our bodies what to do.
Our bodies sense when we are stressed or tired and need rest. Since my surgery, I have been aware of what my body is saying. I haven’t felt like lifting much. Even now, when I think about scooping one of my baby nieces off the floor, my body and mind say, “No.” I have a chiropractor who has treated me through this season of my life. My body says “No” to the idea of going in and having a normal treatment and adjustment right now. My chiropractor wouldn’t mess with my lower back right now anyway. Even a massage on my lower back right now does not sound inviting. Before the surgery I would feel that I needed to go to the chiropractor and an adjustment would sound good and it would help. Normally, massage would sound wonderful! I’m amazed with the way our bodies are designed to work and to show us what we need to do or avoid.
My sister brought this pillow to me when they visited back at Thanksgiving time. I kept thinking I would show it to you and I didn’t. It makes me smile.
Morty and Kitty have a new friend. This cute, chubber-of-a-monkey guy! His name is Alex, though he mostly gets called Monkey. He is adorable and cuddly and squeezy.
I like adding bits of Valentine touches after Christmas. This year I got out a lot of clear glass when I put away Christmas decor.
A friend gifted us with this plate loaded full of cookies right after Thanksgiving. It was so fun! She just gave it to me and as the cookies started to disappear, I began to discover that this plate had a secret message to tell us. What a fun thing and idea!
These beautiful charm necklaces from Wired Boutique arrived last week. They’re made right here in Kansas! Hooray! They’re handcrafted from Scrabble tiles and she does dominoes, too. Go check it out! You can read her about page here.
Please excuse the wonky ways a few things are showing up around here on my blog right now. As I mentioned, there has been dust and construction behind the scenes and one of these days I will get some updates done and a fresh new look…I hope! It all takes time. 🙂
I hope your week is a very-good kind of week!