I stare into the mirror and I press the nozzle on the hairspray and I spray making circles all around the front and back to hold my flyaway hair in place.
Then, I press it again and repeat the hairspray path.
I think I’m not just spraying my hair in place.
Deep down, I’m spraying, spraying….wanting to hold my life in place. Could I just coat and hold the things I want and need so desperately?
I told my husband recently, “I’m just not good at life.”
I laughed when I saw the Letterboard picture on Instagram that held these words.
Things I’m Currently Doing Well
I laughed, but I also nodded my head vigorously and said this is me!! This is how I feel.
Empty blanks when it comes to doing anything well.
I gaze at the hairspray can in my hand and I wish it was that easy.
If I could quickly grab hold of the character qualities I aspire and aim to have……The fruit I want to bear because I abide in the Vine…… These elements making life better…..
If I could only spray them down tight with some TresEmme’ or Pantene.
Patience. That’d be a good one. Press. Hold. Spray.
Kindness. Press. Hold. Spray.
Clarity. Press. Hold. Spray.
Gentle. Easygoing. Press. Hold. Spray. Spray. Spray.
Steadfastness. Abiding. Steady. Here I am. Right back to this word. These words.
Compassion. Spray. Spray. Spray.
The list I’d like to spray firmly and perfectly in place quickly outgrows a simple blogpost.
The ice cubes clang against the stainless side of my insulated cup. I toss them in a bit vehemently. I’m not really giving thanks for this blessing of cold water.
I feel frustrated. Frustrated with life and injustice. Frustrated with flyaway hair. Frustrated with feelings, with asking and having no answers. Frustrated with selfishness and annoyances.
Frustrated with me.
Frustrated with knowing things with my head, but finding it hard to live out in my life.
The Press and Spray method sounds simple. If only it were that easy.
The thing about hairspray is this………it can hold my hair pretty well, most days.
But till the end of the day, we’re worn, my hair and hairspray, and me. And if it should decide to blow gales of wind and I step outside my sheltering walls, well, so much for any kind of hair-do.
I’m afraid trying to spray patience and kindness and steadiness in place will have about the same amount of hold. If I use extra-extra-extra hold, we might get through for most of a day.
But it’s not going to last. It sounds like a quick fix, but maybe that’s my problem. I want a quick fix that feels painless and easy and turns me into a pretty nice person in appearances.
In reality, the only way I’m going to achieve and bear fruit is by abiding in the Vine. Staying attached, securely, without hairspray or glue.
Remembering His strength is made perfect in my weakness. In my frailty and forgetfulness and fretting.
He can take the ashes of gloom and grow the beauty of gratitude in me.
Let go and let God. Take your burdens to the cross.
This Christmas season, perhaps I’ll set down the spraying and the doing and the striving. Perhaps, I’ll simply sit down and savor. I’ll gaze at the baby in the manger and I’ll hand my frustrations and failings right on over to my Jesus’ capable hands.
He delights in making all things new!
FURTHERMORE, He delights in US!!!
Hallelujah! “Glory to the newborn King!”