The Influence of Marriage

We will-very soon-have been married for fifteen years.

Fifteen years. Just the idea that WE have almost been married that long, makes me laugh. Loud. And Long. Not because it hasn’t been fun. Not because it’s always been easy. Just because fifteen years sounds like a long time. And I don’t know how it can have gone so quickly.

And I don’t think mere 25 year-olds can have been married for fifteen years. Ten years old is too young to get married. Hmmm…I guess fifteen years of marriages moves us beyond our twenties.

I used to look at people our age and I would think how together they had it and how wise they must be-raising their half-grown children and being married fifteen years and all, you know! Yep, now I laugh about that too. And I wonder-and laugh-if anyone looks at us and thinks the things I used to think when I looked at people our age. Surely not. Pretty sure there is no way anyone sees me as having it together or having things figured out!

Marriage has taught me a lot of stuff.

Here are a few things I’ve learned:

• Being married to my love is lots of fun.
• Anything I thought I knew or had figured out-I didn’t.
• I’m pretty selfish. {that’s putting it mildly}
• Marriage requires work, communication, and time.
• A marriage is a great place for learning to be more like Jesus.
• I am thankful for the husband God has given me.
• I am thankful that the husband from the previous point is a good forgiver.
• I like being married to my man!

Another aspect of marriage that I think is truly noteworthy is the influence of marriage.

I look back to when we were first married and I contemplate on how we have changed.

We’ve become our own family and grown so much more alike. When we were first married I did not realize how much a part we still were, of the families we were coming out of. Over the years we’ve grown together and changed and given and become our own family unit that is “us”. I think it’s kind of cool! I look at newly married couples and I have a teeny bit of envy for that newly-married-and-in-love feeling. But my envy doesn’t last long. I can also see the adjustments and the bumps and the really-getting-to-know-each-other that is ahead of them.

And I like where I’m at. I like my marriage of almost fifteen years. Oh, we still have bumps. We still have our times. But we know each other so much better and we’ve learned some things and it’s just fun.

I remember hearing a minister tell a story that involved a marriage of ten years and then one of the spouses died. He went on to say that he felt like he and his wife were just getting to know each other when they had been married for only ten years. We had been married possibly five years at the most when I heard the minister say this. At the time I didn’t understand what he meant and I think I felt a little defensive. As in, “What do you mean?! We haven’t been married ten years and we know each other!” Now, I get what he was saying and what he meant. We did know each other at our five year anniversary, but not at all like we do now.

I like the fact that I notice things about farming and Peterbilts that I never would notice or have learned to notice without the influence of my farmer. {Even though there are still a lot of things I’m oblivious to about farming, even after fifteen years}

I like that my husband has learned things like what Candlewick is and that he will have to wait for me to decide what I want to eat-yep, every single time-while we’re sitting at the drive-thru.

I like that I know he is good at knowing which way is north or west and that he knows that I never know if we’re going south or east.

I like how he has influenced me to like chopped peanuts in my ice cream and how he likes salads-some anyways-much better than he did fifteen years ago.

Oh, there’s still likes and dislikes that we had almost fifteen years ago that are still hanging around. There are things I like that he still and I think always will, turn his nose up at! He has some preferences that just don’t line up with mine at all.

But you know, that’s part of what makes us who we are and part of what drew us together in the first place. Our individuality. Small things that make up a big part of each of our personalities. It’s not always easy, this blending into one. There can certainly be marital moments. But I love looking at the way we grow and blend and seeing a peek of God’s design.

And I am certainly looking forward to the next fifteen and the next fifteen after that, if God wills it so.

This is the last verse and chorus of one of the songs that we had at our wedding. I’ve always wished I would’ve changed it from sea to wheat for our wedding, because wheat fits our life so well! 🙂

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Yes, They’re All Ours

* thank-you to “The Graphics Fairy” for the great clip art.

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