It’s gray and rainy here this morning. The fog and mist has thickened around us all morning. I sent a few Bitmojis to friends and family depicting pouring rain and raining cats and dogs! Ha! I’m longing for spring and open windows and sunshine and birds chirping! Ah, well. It’s coming! Gray weather presents a great day to talk about…………………
The Enneagram!!!
I first heard about it a couple of years ago and was instantly interested. Personality types and what makes people tick fascinates me.
What makes us who we are? Why does something that drives me absolutely nuts not phase my friend one little bit? Why do I love the color red and my husband is rather “meh” about it? Why do I soak up ocean and sand and my good man loves trekking to the high point of the mountain? Why do large crowds and small talk sort of annoy me? Why does feeling pressured cause my blood pressure to build? Why do I need time to reflect and think through decisions and issues and other people are instantly and emphatically decisive? Why does conflict make me sick to my stomach while certain people handle confrontation with aplomb and grace?
I won’t be answering these questions. I simply throw them out there as a *few* of the differences and questions about people and personalities I find myself pondering.
Personality tests and types help us understand why we do what we do. It shows us why noise gets on our grandmother’s nerves while our uncle can’t stand too much silence. Personality typing gives us a peek inside of our tics and oddities. It sheds light on our preferences and strengths and weaknesses.
Learning why I choose what I do and the lens I look at the world through helps me understand myself better AND understand my family and friends better too. It helps offer grace for our differences. It reveals that a particular, reeeeeally annoying habit of our spouse/child/parent/friend isn’t just something to try to annoy us, but an aspect of who they are.
Learning about ourselves and our likes and dislikes and our makeup helps us live life in a healthier manner and live it more fully. It helps direct us toward jobs and careers we’re better suited to. It helps us realize why we react so strongly sometimes to some triggers.
A couple of friends had recently asked me questions about the Enneagram and another friend and I threw around some conversation discussing the types last week. Rather than answer my friends singly, it seemed like a great idea to form it up into a blogpost for anyone else who would like to join in on this conversation.
Turns out I have quite a bit to say about the Enneagram! 🙂
I first learned about the Enneagram a little over two years ago and I’ve slowly gathered bits and pieces along the way and continue to find fascination in it. As well, as trying to nail down my type.
The Enneagram is deeper than a simple personality type and has a lot to teach us about ourselves and our souls and our gifts. I’m no expert, but if you’re interested in it or brand-new to it, I’ll share a few things I’ve learned and would recommend, as well as a few books and resources! As I said, no expert, so I bring you this as a fascinated student sharing my opinions! Or as a friend saying, “Here’s what I know or have found so interesting!”
I’m also writing this in a style addressing you as if you already have a faint or basic concept of the Enneagram. If you’ve never heard of it, this will give you a brief overview, but you’ll definitely want to grab a book or Google it for a more formal introduction. 🙂
Here’s a definition of the Enneagram from Merriam-Webster to get you started.
Enneagrams : a system of classifying personality types that is based on a nine-pointed starlike figure inscribed within a circle in which each of the nine points represents a personality type and its psychological motivations (such as the need to be right or helpful) influencing a person’s emotions, attitudes, and behavior.
No. 1
The Enneagram has become widely popular and there’s a myriad of tests available now. While testing can be a great starting point, I’ve repeatedly run into the advice that reading about the Enneagram is the best way to type yourself. Read about the types, learn about them and find which one fits you best. Some people know their type quickly, while other people need more time to name theirs. It isn’t completely uncommon for people to mistype themselves and further down the road, realize “Nope! I’m not a 5! I’m a 9.” Another tip I’ve picked up, though it’s a bit of a downer, read about the negative side of the numbers and see which one makes you feel exposed or embarrassed or a “That is so me!” insight. For some people, this is the key to identifying their primary type. I’ve spent a fair amount of time reading, digging in, perusing and picking up tips as I sought to determine my number. I wasn’t someone who easily nailed it.
No. 2
I’ve also heard that the Myers-Briggs test points toward how other people view us while the Enneagram is about how we view ourselves. I found this tidbit interesting, so I pass it along. Do you know your Myers-Briggs type?
No. 3
Here are a couple of options for testing if you’d like to take a type test ~
There’s a paid test over at The Enneagram Institute. It costs $12 and sends you a one-time usage code. After you take the test, they will email you a PDF of your results and an expanded explanation of the three types with the highest scores. Your results will show a list of all nine types in order of the points you scored within each type.
Your Enneagram Coach offers a free assessment over here. I link to her Instagram account in the resources section of this post.
No. 4
That brings us to our fourth point. We have a bit of all nine types in us, but will have a prevailing type.
No. 5
We have healthy and unhealthy versions of ourselves. When we trend towards the unhealthy, we will find ourselves acting into the negative behavior of another number type. Different numbers move toward different other numbers. I think this can be part of why it sometimes is confusing to nail our number down.
No. 6
There are a variety of aspects to the Enneagram. It seems quite confusing at first. However, like many new-to-us learning experiences, as you dig into it, it begins to make sense and fall into place. If you feel overwhelmed, but are interested, I encourage you to keep digging in! Wings sounded completely confusing to me, but as I keep reading, I’m understanding what the lingo means.
No. 7
Speaking of wings they add another aspect and they influence why two people may both be 3’s, yet have a lot of differences. {besides the obvious thing that we are all immensely unique as creations by God 🙂 } A wing will be one of the numbers beside your primary number. Example: An Enneagram 3 will be a 3W2 or a 3W4. It means they move into the wing number beside their primary number at times, giving their personality the flavor of this type too. Some people don’t really resonate much with a wing at all and settle solely on their primary number.
No. 8
This is a podcast, but scroll down and read in the post for a great tip on typing. What sort of social stance are you? You can instantly eliminate six types. Basically, the nine enneagram types are divided into three different social stances. They are called assertive, compliant, and withdrawn. These stances refer to our basic posture inside our types and how we deal with and relate in the world. If you recognize your stance, it puts you one giant step towards your type as it narrows it down to the three types inside that particular stance.
No. 9
All numbers have their “dark” side or downfalls and pitfalls. No one number is better than any other. Oh, sure, we may WISH we were more like a certain type because we appreciate the positive qualities in that type. It doesn’t mean that number is better. In fact, putting a positive spin on it, it can help reveal to us areas in our lives we want to improve and concentrate on refining these characteristics. It doesn’t mean an 8 is going to turn into a 2, but if helping others in a caring, compassionate way is something we would like to do better, a 2 will give us great inspiration for this! Another good side of the “dark side” or negative traits in our type is looking a bit deeper for the positive in it. Stubbornness isn’t cool for stubbornness sake alone, but a dedicated perseverance is a great trait. Knowing “the best” way to do something and overpowering everyone else isn’t cool, but strong, effective leadership is. Perfectionism that drives yourself and everyone else crazy isn’t cool, but a job or project well done, well put together, well executed, is.
Noting our negatives shines a light of awareness on growth to pursue.
Resources For Learning About the Enneagram
No. 10
Typology, the podcast I sent you to in point number eight, is a terrific listening tool for learning more. They interview people from all number types. I’ve listened to it some recently and enjoy the insight it offers.
If you know your type, you can sign up here to receive an EnneaThought for the day about your type! If you aren’t sure, you could sign up for the two types you’re trending towards and see what you learn.
{amazon links are my affiliates}
Reading People ~ this book by Anne Bogel {Modern Mrs. Darcy} gives a great overview of a variety of personality tests and what each one indicates and helps us delve into in our lives. This book introduced me to the Enneagram in its ninth chapter. This book is a great read for personality-curious people and I highly recommend it!
If you’re on Instagram, there are several great Enneagram accounts going on over there!
@yourenneagramcoach is one of my favorites. She has a ton of information about each type and lots of videos in her highlights.
@enneagramandcoffee is a great account and their lists can help indicate which type is hovering inside you!
My third Instagram account pick is @enneagram.life. Once again, they have a lot of great information and check out their highlights!
Now for a three-book list…………these books have been great reads and a starting place for me and were recommended to my by online friends, bloggers and members in my hope*writers group. Now, I’ll pass them on to you!
Self to Lose Self to Find
This book applies the Enneagram inside a Biblical framework and gives us a look at becoming our authentic selves versus our adapted selves. The author terms it our Authentic Self when we are united with God and our Adapted Self when we are operating in a “me” mindset.
The Typology podcast has an interview with Marilyn Vancil right here.
The Road Back to You ~ What I love about this book………at the beginning of each type chapter the authors give us a list of {EX.} “What It’s Like To Be A Six” and the end of each type gives us a list of ten paths to transformation for that particular number. These lists are very interesting to read and help us recognize our type.
Ian Morgan Cron is the host of the Typology podcast.
The Sacred Enneagram ~ this book digs deeper into wings, as well as considering a plethora of topics for each type ~ childhood wounds, basic fears, basic desires, passions and fixations.
I’ve enjoyed reading various books about the Enneagram, because they all lend their perspective and knowledge. I actually recently ordered The Essential Enneagram and The Path Between Us and I’m eager for them to arrive!
Do you know which Enneagram type you are?! I’d love to hear! What information or tidbit about the Enneagram would you add or share with me? I’m all ears! Have a great Tuesday!
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