I hope April hugged you in warmth and comfort.
I hope it bloomed for you in tulip red and daffodil yellow and hyacinth pink.
I hope pansies pinpointed your pathway and peonies swayed with promise.
Maybe April was lonely for you, the days long, gray, shadowy.
Perhaps there were tears or an unexplained sadness you couldn’t shake.
Angst held sway and anxiety colored everything stormy.
Did April hold celebrations?
Birthdays, anniversaries, a wedding to attend.
Balloons, noisemakers, confetti.
Was sorrow your story in April? Grief for what used to be or what you wish was.
Maybe relief for something left behind.
Hope for days ahead.
Kleenex often in hand.
What moved you this April?
A song, heard for the seven hundred and fifty-sixth time.
A song, brand new to you.
Sunshine outside, a prompt to slip on sneakers and walk a mile.
A car parked in the hospital lot and jubilation leading in the doorway to meet a brand-new grandson.
Did April find flowers sent, a cake baked, a journaling class begun?
Did your job bring new duties?
Did you sit with words that snagged residence in your soul?
Has April brought exciting announcements, unexpected news, much to anticipate?
Did April find happiness elusive?
Here’s what I know from forty-five years of being human…
The answer is yes.
Yes to the both/and.
Yes to the mix of life.
Yes to how hard life is.
Yes to how beautiful life is.
Yes to holding delight in my right hand and despair in my left
Yes to joy.
Yes to the unexplained ache in my gut.
AND
The answer is no.
No to perfectly happy.
No to all is flawless.
No to hashtag blessed and the humble brag.
No to isolating thoughts that sell the debilitation that is named I AM THE ONLY ONE or YOU ARE CRAZY.
No to shame and guilt.
No to the demand of unrealistic expectations.
A lived life is always a mixed bag.
Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates.
For as mama says “You never know what you’re going to get.”
Sometimes it’s delicious-creamy peanut butter enrobed in the silkiest of milky chocolate. Sometimes decadent-dark chocolate flecked with toffee bits, caramel, a raspberry ribbon. Sometimes quite disgusting, completely unexpected, peppermint pieces in a mix of white and dark chocolate, the flavor lingering long after we wish it would dissipate.
The Yes and the No.
The Lonely and the Laughter.
Compassion and Complications.
But I hope as we step into the month of May, that delight serves you the best she has to offer.
Music plays.
Peonies bloom.
And you get your favorite chocolate.
Even be it peppermint.
