I watch the smoke spiral up from the sweet corn stalks and general garden tangle and I confess my first reaction is “glad-to-see-that-mess go” followed quickly by “no-garden-next-year” all played in sour tones and trebles.
Then, I pause, a bit ashamed.
Yes. That garden did become a big tangled, overgrown mess.
It made me feel like a failure…again. Gardening isn’t my strong point.
I dream of tidy, weedfree rows filled with lush glorious plants producing ripe and radiant fruits.
Every spring I’ve gardened, I’m thrilled, THRILLED, to watch tiny baby plants spring up from freshly worked soil, spread their infant leaves and set right to growing.
And we till and spread straw and up to a certain point maintain a pretty good garden. AND THEN. Life happens. June shows its face on the calendar and it’s all downhill from there.Β #soclosetoamazing
In a way.Β
I access my sour grapes notes and I begin to remember.
That tangle of tomato plants, they produced in spite of me. The peppers, they peppered us with dark green jalapenos and bright yellow bananas and medium green bells. I canned up four recipes of salsa, fourteen jars at a time.
We{mostly}beat out the raccoons and feasted on sweet corn and late one evening we pulled and shucked and cooked and cut and tucked away eighteen quart of corn in the freezer.
My son toted in buckets of potatoes, dirt clinging to red skins.
My girl, she gathered bright orange pumpkins, little and big, and green birdhouse gourds who’d laid tucked under broad leaves. They sang of beauty and autumn to us all fall and I drank it in.
“See what God can do with a mess?” my heart whispers. “See what He produces despite the odds?” I begin to breathe gratitude instead of grimacing. I begin to count blessings and salsa jars instead of bemoaning. I begin to play sweet notes instead of sour.
I want to control messes. I want neat and tidy rows. I want organized and efficient instead of overwhelm.
Thing is, I can’t. Not me. Not on my own.
Not in my garden.
Not in my home.
Not in my soul.
There’s always going to be a bit of a mess somewhere.
This tangle of self and questions and tears and hurts that I see in myself?
My faithful God, HE can do something with it. He grows a harvest in me despite the odds! Sometimes on days when I very least expect it. Now, THAT’S beyond amazing!
And something to give great Thanksgiving for!!!
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