Do you ever feel like you don’t fit in?
The proverbial square peg…
Most of my life, I’ve felt much like the proverbial square peg in a round hole.
A rusty tractor in a shiny new lineup of equipment.
A knobby-kneed donkey among beautiful, graceful horses.
A dandelion set against dahlias.
A rough draft stuck in the middle of a pile of beautiful books bonded with buttery, leather covers.
What is fitting in anyway?
Sneakiness that questions our value…
I’m part of a couple of groups right now that I really, really love, but even still, those sneaky feelings of less than, imposter-ism, you-don’t-belong, try to boss me.
Question of worth and value nip me and query, “Do they really want me here? Are they rolling their eyes at my feeble attempts behind my back? Do they too, see how unqualified I am?”
Comparison is the sneaky, ugly monster who cozies up to us and has us looking for where we lack, fogging our vision to truth.
I think the counter solution looks something like this. Gathering the lies and less-than thoughts and dumping them on the drafting board of the Master Crafter. He’s first rate at shaping and reforming and penciling out the pieces of my ongoing story.
I think it looks like stepping away from “me” and dropping flowers off at my aunt’s door or texting a friend to share coffee and heartfelt conversation. It’s counting joy in serving others as I tuck clean dishes in the cupboard & clatter the dirty ones into the dishwasher.
It’s laughing with my teen son and basking in the beautiful of now.
It looks like remembering and reiterating the good in my life. It’s found in playing Pollyanna’s glad game and reading the simple, but oh-so-profound, words of Winnie-the-Pooh.
Everything must begin somewhere. A rough draft may need editing and polishing, reworking and rewriting. Truth is, we could probably tweak forever.
Rough edges and awkwardness and square-peggedness may be part of our lives until we reach our glorious finish and the draft opens to Chapter One. It’s part of learning and growing and trying new things. It’s part of humanness. It’s part of what keeps bringing me back to my Father’s Love pushing me deeper into depending on Him, clinging to Him, resting in contentment in Him.
Perhaps there’s more beauty in a square peg than a first glance finds!